


The City of Sunlight and Mourne

by QueenYandereOfficial



Category: Johnny Tremain - Esther Forbes
Genre: Fluff, Johnny's POV, M/M, Not really internalized homophobia, Rab's POV, They dont even really kiss either, alot, bittersweet really, but like Johnny worries, introspective, just like a peck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-17 11:54:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10593480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenYandereOfficial/pseuds/QueenYandereOfficial
Summary: Johnny and Rab are forced to come to terms with their gayness. No in all seriousness the war is over, and Rab is left without his right leg and Johnny is left trying to take care of him.Slight angst





	

**Author's Note:**

> If I get anything wrong about cripples/leg injuries and war-sorry. I'm kinda queen of fucking things up.

It was another semi-peaceful day in Boston. The war had stalled, and both British and American soldiers had been stationed elsewhere. The only signs of war being a few pieces of broken buildings, some stray human bodies, the people working to rebuild their city, and a boy walking around with two legs-one of flesh and bone the other a meager stick.  
A chilling reminder of the price to be payed by any fool foolish enough to fight for the losing side. Yet the boy himself, dressed in clean clothes and a warm smile, was contempt with the outcome. His days of fighting were regrettably over, but that didn't mean he still didn't have any challenges left to overcome.

And no, it wasn't walking, or recovering from the scars of war- it was dealing with what he had left behind in the first place.  
His name was Johnny Lyte Tremain; and boy was he pissed. Like a reminder of the boy's perpetual anger he felt a slight kick to his intact leg.  
“Aren't you walking a little too slowly? We’re gonna miss dinner” Johnny grumbled and Rab couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“Telling a cripple to walk faster? That is awfully like you Johnny”  
The boy grimaced, “Stop trying to change the topic, see it's almost dawn”  
“Why does it matter? If we're late, we're late- plus- I want to walk with you longer” he said adding a bit more than a sprinkle of charm to his voice. He didn’t care to consider that Johnny might have understood the underlying meaning to his words. His constant flirting could be easily passed off as brotherly affection if ever pressed about it, but Rab hoped that Johnny would sense that it was much more than that.

“Don’t see how you could do that, when you can barely walk. I bet you couldn’t even keep up with a snail, “ he said in the wonderfully sarcastic voice of his- the one that he had never truly lost as the years passed. Johnny would always have a great way with words.  
“Ouch, your words hurt more than my wounds Johnny Tremain,” Rab said and winced at the sharp glare Johnny gave him- he never liked when Rab joked about his leg, ”fine, fine- I’ll do it your way”

Johnny didn’t smile but he gave a satisfied ‘good’ and picked up the pace forcing Rab to do so as well. Rab could help but stare at proud figure that now walked in front of him. Age had done wonders for Johnny, that once awkward complexion and forced pride now faded into strong angles and simple beauty. His hair had become wispy and long enough to be tied into a small ponytail. His figure had not become built or even remotely 'manly', but had gained a sort of strength to it.

Rab wondered what he got himself into by falling for the man. He also mused that if that bullet that impaled his leg wasn’t the death of him, Johnny Lyte Tremain sure would be.  
xXxXxXxXx

Johnny was in the middle of writing something when he heard a large thud not very far from him. He jumped up, getting a flashback to the loud thumps of boots against the ground and gunshots, and then growled when he saw Rab strewn about on the floor in an awkward position. He expression was slightly strained from the fall but he was still smiling and even managed to wave.  
“Hey Johnny, care to help me?” Ever since he had found Rab- minus the bottom portion of his left leg- it had been his duty to help the boy in times of need- which became much more frequent. Part of his duty was to help Rab move about and do the simplest of tasks. 

He didn’t mind this of course, in fact now he had an excuse to dote over Rab and hold him close, but what bothered him was how jolly Rab always looked. Half of the time it was a fake smile that stretched over his face, and the other half of the time he was truly content.  
But Johnny had a feeling he was never truly happy, not like he had been fighting at least- and something about that thought- of Rab being permanently despondent- made the cogs of his heart screech and grind against each other. It made him simultaneously angry and desperate- desperate to do anything, help in anyway possible.

Even if that meant given up his time, his future...hell he’d give up his own damn leg.  
And Rab-that perceptive fool- probably noticed, because every time Johnny felt down he would try his hardest to seem up, hoping to rope Johnny into pretending too- or at least to balance out the scale.  
That never worked out very well. And Johnny was left constantly wondering how he had fallen so hard for the guy...when he couldn’t help the other get up himself, without a walking cane being the third wheel. Rab had suggested to use the cane even though Johnny saw only disdain when those dark eyes stared at it.

It reminded Johnny of how useless he was, so he definitely didn’t want to think about how it made Rab feel. He pushed his emotions away for the moment in favor of picking up Rab, who despite how skinny he seemed, was actually quite heavy.  
"Sit up a bit, it'll help" he said and grabbed the underside of Rab's arm, heaving him up with effort. It was a messy process that he had done once before and that he still couldn't get used to. 

Maybe it was a sign of his immaturity, but being so close to Rab and so hands on only made his thoughts go down the gutter. He tried to keep his mind on the process; get Rab in a sitting position, lift him by putting his arms under his armpit...but somehow it just led to him inhaling the smell that was just inherently Rab, or hugging him and being hugged back.  
"...Johnny?" Johnny was snapped out of the daze he didn't even know he was in only to be surprised at how close Rab was. How the heck did they get so close without him noticing?

"I should be good now" he said sounding the most upset he had in months, and Johnny felt a pang of pain. Did feel depressed because he fell? Unlikely because no matter how many times he fell before that damn smile never left his face.  
It was more likely that he was disgusted and confused by another male holding him for so long- and just the thought of that made Johnny feel bitter. 

"Yeah, definitely" he said, but didn't sound too convinced that what he was saying was what he wanted. Instead Johnny sound lost and indecisive. Finally he let go of his friend, heart heavy and irritated. Jaggedly Rab nodded in agreement, and it was so unlike him that Johnny's patience snapped,  
"Forget it, you welcome you asshole," even he was shocked at his bitter tone but he did not stop," you don't even need my help, I don't even know why I'm here if you hate me so much."

Johnny turned away, regretful, bitter, and hurt but planning to continue working like Rab wasn't even there. He had always had a knack for saying things in the spur of the moment without really thinking his words through. What if Rab really did leave him? What if he told Johnny that he didn't need his help anymore and asked somebody else to take care of him instead.  
Somebody like Priscilla.

Just the thought made his jealously burn bright hot through his skin.  
Then he felt Rab's weight against his back, sudden-as if he'd fallen on johnny-, and arms wrapped around his torso.  
"I'm sorry," Rab mumbled against his shoulder, and Johnny was almost too surprised to by hyper aware of their closeness- almost.

He was sure his face was on fire and he was even stuttering,  
"Hey-wh- what are you sorry for you idiot! You didn't do anything, I was the one-hey!" Rab just ignored him and dug his face even deeper into Johnny's neck.  
"I do need you Johnny, I know this might freak you out and you might think I'm disgusting- but it can't be anybody else," beautiful brown eyes stared him down and broke through his defenses. He was no longer struggling out of Rab's hold, he was now melting into it,  
"There's nobody else I could trust with my life like this Johnny, so I need you."

Everything Rab said sounded like a confession to him and it made his heart pound harder than it ever had before. Dangerously he felt the need to kiss Rab even knowing it could cost him their relationship.  
In the end he didn't have to worry because it was Rab that took the first step. Fearless as always he surged forward, kissing Johnny quickly before reeling back and watching him.

It was strange, Johnny thought, how he who committed the crime himself was the one who seemed unaffected, innocent with not a shred of guilt. Honestly Johnny didn't know how to feel. He felt the weight of the act weigh heavily on him,his ex-master's passionate sermons echoing through his mind, and society society glaring at him though their was nobody there to see them. And yet none of that tipped the scale, none of those things weighed heavier than his own feelings, or the feeling of Rab's lips against his.  
He loved Rab more than he loved comfort or innocence,or perhaps even God. That scared him more than anything.

Rab knew this, somehow, because he pulled away from their embrace. Regretfully he readjusted his cane before turning to leave.  
Johnny stopped him.  
"I-I" he was at a lost for words and could only manage to say," stay, I need help with this article."  
Dark eyes searched him before smiling wryly,  
"Don't regret this Johnny. Don't regret us"  
He merely shrugged the movement jagged and nervous. He wouldn't ever regret loving Rab, but he feared Rab would regret loving him.


End file.
